Change is a-comin'

I tell you, trying to say something without upsetting someone else is quite impossible.

"The sun is shining brightly today."

"Why is One Drunk Redneck celebrating global warming instead of doing something about it?" Twitter Troll tweeted.

"I don't understand how anyone can be so callous to those who have lost a loved one to skin cancer," Melancholic Mom mourned.

"How can I harness that energy?" Concerned Citizen contemplated.

"Yipee!  Meet you at the beach for a cold one Drunk Redneck!" Beach Ball Belly Bob bellowed.

I might have lost fifty percent of the votes for saying, "The sun is shining brightly today" but on the bright side, I got one vote and can fight for the undecided.  I might win the undecided if I can explain how to harness the energy of the sun and provide tax incentives for them to do it.

After more than two months since my announcement for a possible 2024 run, I have been writing my opening speech with the goal of offending no one.  All I got is a blank computer screen and a trash can full of crumpled paper.  

I am convinced there isn't anyone, including God, who can write something without offending someone else.  So I scrapped my attempt at writing the perfect speech that would offend no one and I'm going for one that offends everyone. 

The fundamental change we need in DC is not to bring in an outsider, although that would be a good thing.  It's not to strive for diversity, although that would be a good thing.  What we need in DC is a fundamental change in political attitude at all levels.  

The politician's job is not to tell you what you can't do, but to tell you what you need to have in place to do what you want to do.  The politician's job is not to dictate what is and isn't appropriate behavior nor to push their own agenda regardless of what you want.  Nor is it their job to create a cash generating system to fine and punish those who behave as less than a model Stepford citizen would act.  In other words, politicians are best seen, not heard.  

Government should hum quietly in the background to ensure a civil society while the people decide how to live their lives for themselves.  Politicians need to shut their mouths and open their ears.  It's that simple.  You can't hear the people if you're hogging the spotlight while jabbering and telling them what to do.

Now that is a lot of generalities I just typed, but I think the generalized philosophy of my political beliefs lays the groundwork for more specific discussions in the months to come over the next year plus time frame.  Politicians need to shut up and listen to the people.  People need to speak up and just say no to the government.

Our Founding Fathers enumerated three inalienable rights, those being the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Lately, our Supreme Court and Congress have forgotten about those three inalienable rights.  The White House has never understood those rights.  Their excuse for not knowing?

"Those rights aren't in the Constitution."  

No, they aren't in the Constitution, but they are in our Declaration of Independence, and no less important than the rights enumerated in our Constitution.

First, if you want a constitution that enumerates all possible rights, we might have to wait for technology to catch up so the Internet can hold all the possibilities.

Second, if you haven't graduated past the literal reading stage and believe the world started the day you were born, you probably aren't qualified for a job requiring more skill than a pan handler.  If you study real hard, you might get to the point where you are qualified for a fry cook position.  But please don't use the voting loop hole to win a popularity contest and a new, lucrative position in DC.  Honestly, you can't be trusted to dig a hole in the backyard.  We certainly shouldn't trust you to lead the country.

My motto is simple.  A beer or bottle of wine on every table.  We should be celebrating life, not finding ways to make people poorer and jailing them.  How can we claim to be the happiest, freest nation in the world when we jail more of our citizens than any other country jails theirs?  We have about one and a quarter times more citizens in jail than China, yet China has over four times the population of the US.  There is no country in the world that has a higher rate of incarceration than we have.  There's something wrong with that picture.

Let me repeat that, a little bit slower so the other candidates might grasp what I am saying.

We   have   more   citizens   in   prison   than   China   yet   China   has   four   times   our   population.

Ok, other candidates, take a swig of beer or sip of wine because I'm not done speaking slowly so you can understand.

No   other   country   has   a   higher   incarceration   rate   than   our   country.

You only live once.  The
government doesn't git
to tell you how to live it.

We can't pursue happiness if we don't have liberty because we're sitting in jail
for not saying "God bless  you" when someone else sneezed.  We need to put a
stop to the theocratic based prison state many in our government are working hard to build.

My great-grandfather, back in the day, loved his whiskey.  One day, our government decided whiskey was the drink of Satan and banned all alcohol. 
Of course, our government, being all men, didn't make the decision to
ban alcohol.  They were undoubtedly threatened by their wives to pass Prohibition or sleep in the barn until they did.  No man in his right mind would voluntarily ban all alcohol.

My great-grandfather paid no mind to the government, what they said, nor why they said it.  In the spirit of true American ingenuity, he planted part of his field with rye and corn and proceeded to make his own whiskey.

"Nobody, and certainly not the government, has the right to tell me what I can and can't cook over my bonfire," he claimed in defiance.  "If I want to boil some corn and rye mash, that's my business and no one else's."

My great-grandmother stood behind him, even at his trial.  The judge sentenced him to a year in jail, reduced to six months to be served after harvesting season and to be released before planting season since he was the breadwinner of the family and a farmer.

"Those six months were the quietest six months of my life," my great-grandmother would fondly remember.

That's how the family story goes and I have no reason to believe otherwise.  

Remember, folks, a beer or a bottle of wine on every table if you vote for me...and I mean the legally produced beer and wine.  Life is to be enjoyed, not filled with worry about whether or not we're making Big Daddy happy.

Ok, you're right.  Maybe that wasn't the greatest of stories to tell.  I end up going to jail for six months and Big Daddy still gets the last laugh...and my other half gets six months of peace.  

TL;DR Folks:
It's a speech, dagnabit.  If you can't read it, use the sexy voice in your head to get through it.

 

For your listening pleasure:

Posted by One Drunk Redneck