Tactical Preparations Millennial Style

Over the last year, my TV has been flooded with Bell + Howell TAC products.  A buff warrior of the Paintball Dome tries to sell me something by the TAC people.  I think the TAC spokesmen are really auditioning for soldiers-only-dot-com or your local health store pushing muscle protein shakes.  They're hoping to get discovered in case the pretend warrior gig doesn't work out.

"Normal sunglasses make things darker.  That could be dangerous in a tactical situation."

"It collapses into full armor mode."

Hey ladies.  You want something rugged...the
glasses I mean?  (More on Nick Bolton)

No lie.  Those are selling points for their TAC glasses and lanterns.  Should I worry about waking up one morning and finding myself in a tactical situation?  Is Trump going to order Homeland Security to invade my home?  Or maybe the Russians are coming through my computer and into my living room in a blitz attack?  Talk about getting up on the wrong side of the bed if that were to happen.

So far, I need to get flashlights (a couple of different models including military grade lights), amplifier for my ears, sunglasses, night vision glasses, lanterns, visors for my car, and a TAC tool.  I'm sure the list is growing.  I almost can't wait to see their next product release.

Will someone tell me why all of a sudden I need to prepare for a tactical situation?  Am I going to end up as chattel mindlessly being herded to an internment camp if I don't get all this TAC stuff to protect me from...Trump?  Congress?  Russians?  Roseanne?  Christmas shoppers?

For the big brave men hawking the Bell + Howell TAC gear, I wonder if they have the TAC phone accessories to handle their spouses' tactical situations.  No hands car mount for the phone makes it easy and safe for them to call pest control to kill the spider in the bathroom.

Whew!  Another dangerous situation averted...and they didn't need to leave the Paintball Dome to take care of it.

Posted by Five Drunk Rednecks