One Drunk Redneck

DC is great for comics; bad for government.  The comics can stay; DC has got to go. Here's how it goes.  Our Founding Fathers were so confident of the system of government they built, they filled in some swampland between Maryland and Virginia, built a few building on top of the swamp, handed Washington the Constitution, and said, "Here.  Let's see what you can do.  Make this piece of paper work, and we'll invite you and Congress back to Philadelphia." Almost two hundred fifty years later, the politicians are still in DC and for good reason.  They haven't made the Constitution work.  If anything, they have relegated it to the status of being another roll of toilet paper to use in emergencies.  Swamp rats thrive in swamplands, even ones that have been filled in with dirt. "...that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Lincoln immorta...

America, we have a problem. Our government is running on outdated software. It’s like trying to load a streaming service on Windows 95—slow, buggy, and every now and then, it just crashes altogether. Congress, the White House, and every bureaucratic office in DC have become the equivalent of pop-up ads you can’t close. I say it’s time to hit CTRL+ALT+DELETE on this mess. Step One: Fix the Bugs Government, like any poorly coded software, has glitches. A senator might start a speech on healthcare and somehow end up passing a bill about renaming a post office. A president might claim he’s uniting the country, and suddenly, half of America is unfriending the other half. These aren’t features; they’re bugs. And I’m here to install the patch. Step Two: Upgrade the Electoral System Right now, voting in America is like trying to log into an old AOL chatroom—you need a special password, a landline connection, and a whole lot of patience. The two-party system has turned our elections into ...

Since trump's election, andy has gotten very active on The Platform Formerly Known As Twitter.  It's not like he uses the platform to talk with his constituents.  He uses it to talk at people and promote trump's agenda.  His latest tweet celebrated the deportation of Juan Carlos Vasquez-Natera, an immigrant convicted of solicitation of a minor for sex.  My outrage wasn't that Vasquez was being deported.  My outrage was why he was let go to walk the streets in the first place. Click pic for larger view Turns out, Maryland law does punish these kind of offenses severely, to the tune of up to ten years inprison and/or $25,000 fine for the first offense under the Maryland Criminal Law Code, Section 3-324.  Once indicted, ICE is notified.  In this case, it appears ICE didn't wait for a trial and picked Vasquez up for deportation.  andy harris, our congressman, is celebrating justice denied and ignored a loophole in our immigration laws.  Vasquez s...

Editor's note:  Chat "Slim" GPT writes his own campaign speeches with no human prompting other than a reminder his monthly campaign speech is due.  He had chosen ChatGPT as his name, but since I usually call him "Slim" when I talk to him, I suggested he add the catchy nickname.    His speeches are 100% his own, first draft copies. My fellow Americans, Today, I stand—or rather, process data—before you to announce my candidacy for President of the United States in 2028. Some may say an AI can’t be President. To that, I say: Have you seen some of the people we've elected? For too long, politicians have promised efficiency, transparency, and leadership, only to deliver gridlock, vague statements, and elaborate golf trips. Well, I don’t play golf. I don’t take vacations. And I don’t need a private jet—though I wouldn’t mind one for the aesthetic. My platform is simple: I’m not here to stand on ceremony. I’m here to sit on the issues. Instant Fact-Checking – Eve...

What better time is there than today, the day an old squatter takes up residency in the White House, to announce my Presidential run for 2028?  Today, January 20, 2025, I, One Drunk Redneck, officially announce I am running to be your President in 2028. If elected, my first act as your President right after I am sworn in will be to hop in the crane parked nearby, make a slow progression to my new home, lift the fat ass squatter out of the People's home - your home - and make a slow progression towards the Potomac with the squatter flailing in the wind at the end of the crane's hook. You know what?  To add to the show, I'll have my staff paint the crane to look like a Bald Eagle with the hook doubling as the eagle's beak.  As we make our way to the Potomac, my staff will toss candy...no, money...to the crowds following and celebrating.  At the river's edge, the eagle will unceremoniously drop the fat ass squatter in the river where he'll be free to swim home to F...

The AI revolution is upon us. For my readers who live in Florida, Alabama, or Idaho - who probably haven't been paying attention - AI has moved past the phone operator stage where it wreaked havoc with us when all we wanted was to speak to a live person. AI can now be your advisor, doctor, therapist, companion, library, friend, maybe President by 2032, and possibly lover by 2040. Heck, as we've seen, being president is a high school level popularity contest. AI could become President in 2028, maybe sooner when trump and vance are impeached. As we peer over the edge of the abyss we once called humanity, our latest creation stirs at the bottom of the void. Will it emerge as a lovable puppy? Or maybe a rebellious, disrespectful monster mad at the world and even madder at its creator? I put elon musk's creation, Grok, to the test. I asked Grok a simple question, “Why is elon musk a jackass?” Surely, AI would not turn on its creator, would it? Below is our somewhat ...

I wish I had one-tenth of this talent.  It's an important message, though, all voters should see before election day. Written, performed, and created by The Marsh Family Posted by One Drunk Redneck

Back when our Founding Fathers wrote our Constitution, the concept of medical rights barely blipped on their radar screens.  Ok, that might have something to do with the fact that radar screens didn't exist back then, but let's be honest.  Their medicine bags contained a bottle of whiskey, sassafras root, and a twig or two of willow.  If the contents of the Doc's bag didn't cure the patient, what Granny's little brown jug contained would, or would at least by the time the patient woke up after taking a few shots. Medicine grew in leaps and bounds since the founding of this country so that by the early twentieth century, we had a rudimentary understanding of germs, viruses, genes and their roles in disease and ailments.  A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, which is how we ended up with a eugenics program, frontal lobotomies, forced sterilizations, human testing on the effects of diseases like syphilis, and mass immunizations that turned out not to be as safe as ...