Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Midgets in a jar come under fire

The Short Stature People of America, Inc. are calling for a national boycott of some of the major pickle companies.  Targeted companies include Mt. Olive, Vlasic, Del Monte, and Heinz.

At the center of the controversy are each company's line of "sweet midgets" pickles.  "Sweet midgets" are simply baby sweet gherkin pickles.

Vaughn Zwerg, spokesperson for the Short Stature People of America, issued a terse statement in announcing the boycott.  "Midget is a derogatory term and has always implied someone of inferior stature.  Why a company would want to name a product with a word that most people associate with meaning an inferior stature is a concept that soars over my head."

The national controversy has gained little notice from those outside of the short stature community.  When this reporter visited a local grocery store and asked shoppers for their thoughts on the call for a boycott of the sweet midget pickles, he was met with blank stares.

One shopper, who hadn't heard of the call for a boycott, shook her head in disbelief.  "Doesn't surprise me.  Political correctness run amok.  This I'm-going-to-get-offended-by-everything attitude is way beneath us."

Another shopper remarked, "Nah, I haven't heard of the boycott.  I can see why they would be offended, though.  They have a pickle named after them, but then the store places the pickles on a shelf that most of them can't reach."

Mr. Zwerg wasn't surprised by the responses.  "Most people just don't make the connection between the use of the derogatory word and how its use negatively affects a small portion of our society."

When it was pointed out that the controversy is over the naming of a pickle product and had nothing to do with stereotyping people, Mr. Zwerg was quick to reply, "The sweet midget pickles are priced a third less than the full-sized sweet gherkins.  The subliminal message being conveyed to millions of Americans every day is that smaller means less valuable.  By using the word, midget, to describe their product, the pickle industry is reinforcing the idea that short stature people are less valuable in our society."

 While the latest battle in the Political Correctness War is a tempest in a teaspoon, feel free to let the major pickle players know how you feel about their midgets.  Clicking on any of the pictures will take you to each company's respective "contact us" page.  Remember, as a general rule, the shorter your message, the more likely it will be read.

Posted by Five Drunk Rednecks

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