Sunday, October 9, 2016

And they called it mushroom love

I absolutely do not like mushrooms.  I've always said you can't trust something that grows in the dark in a pile of crap.

Dang, that almost sounds like the current crop of presidential choices.

Despite my dislike for their culinary tastes, I do find mushrooms and fungi to be the coral of dry land.  They come in all sorts of sizes, shapes, and colors.  Even though some mushrooms will kill you if eaten, other animals chow down with impunity, making even the poisonous mushrooms an important food source.  The eastern box turtle (Terrapene carolina carolina), for example, can be seen chowing down on the fungal delicacy, but a word of warning.  Box turtles can eat mushrooms we can't.  If you see a turtle eating a mushroom, don't eat it thinking it must be safe.  It might kill you.  And don't ever think you can substitute a box turtle for a snapper to make soup.  The poison they ingest from the mushroom is active in their flesh and will kill you.

The one remaining drunk redneck other than myself loves mushrooms.  He bought a mushroom identification book some years ago and has all the two fork wild mushrooms (the best eating) memorized.  His father once told him that if an animal eats the mushroom, it's safe for us to eat.  It was hard for me to convince him that line of thought is a fallacy until we stumbled on this conversation.

"My Dad taught me if an animal can eat it, so can I."

"That's not true.  A box turtle can eat mushrooms we can't."

"Nuh-uh.  The poison would kill it, too."

"Ok.  Next time you see a box turtle eating a mushroom, pick it.  While you're at it, pick some milk weed to make a nice salad for your last meal.  If it's good enough for the monarch caterpillar, it should be regal enough for you.  Oh, and sprinkle some poison ivy berries on the salad.  Many of our song birds love them berries so there's gotta be something to them."

He got my point.  I still wonder how he ever survived childhood.

This was my long way of saying, "No, I don't know what sort of mushrooms these are, but I liked the photo op."

Posted by Five Drunk Rednecks

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