Sunday, June 25, 2017

Adams Radio Group kidnapped Crank and killed rock and roll

Yeah, Crank has been kidnapped or something, but let's get to the real news.  Adams Radio Group killed rock and roll.

Face it.  Adams Radio Group is small potatoes in the radio world.  When a company needs to stoop to buying rights to the syndicated program, The Billy Madison Show, a show dedicated to selling tattoos and sex, one can pretty much guess listeners won't hear any groundbreaking programming, cutting edge music, or at least a tidbit of factoids about the songs or groups we've all heard hundreds of times every year for the last forty years.

Leah was our favorite DJ, our meaning the one who always writes to you and the semi-participating-drunk-redneck that's left in our original group of five.  Leah's rock update minutes were a breath of fresh air in otherwise stale and predictable programming.

Stale and predictable?

Yup.  In fact, WZBH has become so predictable, they match the programming of WIYY 98 Rock over in Baltimore that killed rock and roll there long before Adams Radio Group began the slaughter here.  We still love Amelia on that station, but the music is as stale as the music now played on WZBH.  But like Leah had with her rock minutes, Amelia has a noon flashback that adds a bit of depth to the songs and groups we've heard hundreds of times over the last forty years.

Here's a fun game.  If you're in the zone where you can tune both stations (93.5 for WZBH and 97.9 for WIYY), flip between them.  You'll be amazed how many times in an hour the two stations play the same songs, sometimes at the same time.  It's like a radio programmer job pays minimum wage so one person is programming both stations so he or she can afford to put some hotdogs on their kids' dinner plate.

Want to add a new dimension to the game?  Switch to WZBH's sister station, Big Classic Rock 98.5, and hear how many times all three stations play the same songs - and if not the same songs, the same groups singing their songs from the same time period.  That radio programmer is making a killing programming all three stations.  No more hotdogs on the kids' plates.  All beef hotdogs now, baby!

It's been a month since either one of us have listened to WZBH.  The semi-participating-drunk-redneck listens to the oldies, the oldies being '50's and '60's stuff, so he only listens to WZBH if I need to write an article. 

I now drive a route in a vehicle without a radio.  The only time I get to listen to the radio is when my vehicle is in for maintenance and I get to drive the vehicle with a radio.  It's been about three weeks, maybe a bit more since I tuned in.  I listened to Leah, turned the radio off for Drew since I couldn't stand that pervert's persona, and listened a bit to Jason Lee.  How things change in three weeks.  According to WZBH's website, Leah, Drew, and Jason Lee are no longer part of the programming line up. 

Sadly, Billy Madison still is.

I reckon I'll need to drive the vehicle with a radio this week to catch up what's happening at WZBH.  Or I could just be happy with listening to my favorite DJ, Amelia, out of Baltimore the once in a while I get to drive the vehicle with a radio and flip through the stations when I'm out of her zone.

So how did Crank get kidnapped in all of this?

Crank, if you remember, was the morning show host at WZBH for many years.  Always a sidekick, he wasn't cut out to be a star on his own.  Billy Madison, the syndicated show and not the person, replaced Crank. 

Crank lay low for about a year before taking a gig with New Country WXCY in Havre de Grace in that foreign land on the other side of The Bay.  He was there for about a year, give or take a few months, before disappearing.  And disappear he did.

A call to WXCY resulted in nothing other than "He's missed."  Crank's FaceBook page has been eerily quiet.  The page still shows he works for Delmarva Broadcasting Company, owners of WXCY, but he definitely is not there.
Proof Crank is a Dominoes Driver?

After Adam's Radio Group killed rock and roll, they kidnapped Crank.  If I ever could bring myself to stomach a Billy Madison Show, I might find out that the bodacious woman being spanked on air is Crank.  You know, that underworld of BDSM porn can be very shady and seedy, but when one needs to make money, can be very profitable - and a man can scream like a woman, which we suspect Crank would be a perfect screamer.  No more all beef hotdogs on the kids' plates.  A BDSM porn star can afford real beef patties, maybe even with cheese.

Or, as poetic justice would have it, Crank (real name: Andrew Murr) could be your Dominoes Pizza driver.  

TL;DR folks
If you don't live on Delmarva, you might not be interested in knowing how local rock stations killed rock and roll just like most rock stations across the nation have done.  If you don't know who Crank is and you're in Cecil County, order a Dominoes pizza.  He might deliver it to you.

Update - what we do know:
  • Jason Lee, as of June 23, is working at WAMS 94.9 Delmarva's Album Music Source according to his FaceBook page.  Best info available - it's a station in Newark, MD.
  • Leah, according to her LinkedIn page, still works for WZBH.  According to WZBH, Carolina has taken over Leah's time slot.
  • Drew Cage is...well...a sweat drop off some guys testicle and thankfully gone.
  • Crank is still missing - either being tortured at Dominoes or being tortured in Billy Madison's basement.  His last known location was in Havre de Grace, but he hasn't been seen there in about four months.

Latest update - We've found Leah! (04 Jul 17):

Yes, we found Leah way up north in Massachusetts at Lazer 99.3 & 105.1.  Best guess - going north was a move up for Leah, a positive move for a bigger audience and presumably a bigger pay check.  Maybe some day she'll check in and let her fans down here know how she's doing.

For your listening pleasure
Posted by Five Drunk Rednecks

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