Tin Foil Hats Not Just For Conspiracy Theorists Anymore

Alarmed by the growing technology relying on invisible waves to control it, more and more everyday folks are turning to tin foil hats for protection.

"Bees are suddenly dying and birds are getting lost on their migration routes," explained Al Stagnola of Little Italy in Baltimore.  "That's why I always wear a tin foil lined hat."  He tipped his hat to show the neatly stitched foil lining inside.  "It's triple layered.  Can't be too safe, you know."

Stagnola may not be far off  in his thinking. Studies dating back a decade or more suggest the electromagnetic radiation driving our computers and cellphones may be interfering with our birds and bees' sense of direction.  Other studies suggest our WI-Fi and cellphone waves may be negatively affecting us as well as all living creatures.

"I don't take no chances," explained Josh Cahil, a third generation turkey farmer on Delmarva.  "I ain't got a lot of money to buy the fancy, tin foil lined clothes Europe or New York sells so I have my wife sew tin foil on the inside of all my clothes, particularly my hats and underwear.  I save a bundle that way." (Cahil most likely referred to Shield based in London and Less EMF based in Latham, NY.)

If you think you've had a good laugh at this point, hold on to your tin foil lined panties.  Dr. Jill Carnahan (who has more letters in her professional credentials after her name than her name, itself) warns us:
"If you’ve heard of EMFs you might have been wondering if it’s a bunch of bogus – but I can assure you, EMFs are very real and impacting our health at an unprecedented rate."
She's so concerned about your health and well being, she will sell you nutrition supplements and skin care products to protect you from the deadly cellphone and Wi-Fi signals.  When tin foil isn't enough, you have Dr. Jill stepping up to the plate to protect you from what the tin foil might miss.

While many might brush off the conspiracy theories of lunatics wearing tin foil lined clothing as modern day knights in shining armor gone mad, digging through the archives of the government's National Library of Medicine uncovers a little known study.  The study suggests there may be a link between EMF radiation and "obsessive/compulsive behavior, interpersonal hypersensitivity, hostility, phobic anxiety, [and] paranoid thoughts."  The study also suggests that future studies "should be directed towards feelings of inferiority and uneasiness in relationships as well as anger, hostility and resentment towards other people."

A member of the American Society for Materials International, who wished to remain anonymous, remarked, "There might be something to this EMF theory of invisible waves affecting our cognitive abilities.  But think about it.  People who want tin foil protection from EMF radiation run to the store and buy Reynolds aluminum wrap.  Is that logical thinking or EMF induced thinking?"


For your viewing pleasure: A Professional Review of Shield linked in this article


Posted by A Drunk Redneck

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